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THE INDEPENDENT WRITER
Jim Ippolito |
WHAT A JOKE!
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|  This is my good friend, Stinky. She's an unusual cat in that she can sniff out bullshit anywhere. Stinky can laugh too, as you can see, but she only laughs at the most outrageous examples of bullshit. She can't talk yet but she does alert me to items of interest by throwing herself at the TV screen while watching the news. Here's the bullshit she pointed out to me today:
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| JUST BLAME CLINTON
Here's an easy way out of any mess you've gotten yourself into.
Now, when you have a problem, or get caught doing something wrong, don't fret, just blame Clinton!
This panacea has been the mainstay for Republicans for years and it should work for normal people too.
The Republicans, who still think Bill Clinton is running for elective office, and who have finally replaced Franklin D. Roosevelt as their whipping boy, because there aren't that many people alive who know who he was, blame former President Bill Clinton for everything.
Many Republican law makers, oh excuse me, law breakers, are on the run, ducking process servers, as their "culture of corruption" crumbles. As a result they have elevated their "let's blame Clinton for everything" campaign to a new level of hysteria.
Everywhere you look there"s a Republican blaming Clinton for something. Senatorial wannabee, Katherine Harris, the woman who helped hijack Florida's electoral votes in 2004, is blaming Clinton for the public's lack of acceptance for her "2 pounds of makeup for every woman" idea.
House Speaker Dennis "The Krispy Kreme King" Hastert, whose only accomplishment is emulating a beached whale, recently defended disgraced former Republican Mark Foley. He stated that the Congressional Page system wasn't designed with things like the Internet and instant messaging in mind.
That's right Mr. Speaker, let's blame ball point pens, rulers, electric fans, toilet paper, suspenders, umbrellas, and all those other pesky, hard for you to understand modern things for Mark Foley's behavior.
When his ridiculous modern technology excuse worked as well as a screen door on a submarine, he called up the old Republican chestnut of, "Its Clinton’s fault."
We have had 6 years of a nitwit, windshield cowboy President, and Republican control of both houses of congress. During this time the country went from having a huge economic surplus, and an absence of war, to the largest deficit in American history, and 2 wars, both started based on lies.
But hey, none of it is the fault of Bush, the Republican majority in both houses, their Conservative base, or the tiny minority of Evangelical religious loonies to whom the President genuflects.
Nope, it's all former President Bill Clinton’s fault according to every Republican and Conservative in possession of a mouth.
Could it be that these guys just can't seem to reconcile the fact that someone can be a politician and still have sex, that is, heterosexual sex?
Elect a Democrat, the Republicans say, and taxes will get raised. Guess what? Elect a Democrat, and you just might have a job, and an income to pay taxes on. It's the Republicans that have given Corporate America their blessing to ship American jobs out of the country.
Got a problem? Just blame Clinton, any Clinton. There's no need for you to engage in any soul searching to determine if you're the cause of your own problems, just blame Clinton.
Why not? Hell, it's been working for Republican politicians for years, as evidenced by the fact that their worshippers walk in lock step to the polls and vote them in election after election.
North Korea detonated a nuclear bomb, on Bush's watch, and the Republicans blamed it on Clinton.
During the Clinton years the North Korean's nuclear program was inactive and in view of surveillance cameras and visiting inspectors.
But right after Mr. Bigmouth Bush announced his "Axis of Evil" theory the cameras and inspectors were put out, the reactors fired up, and a bomb developed.
Note the Republican's never ending cultivation of the World War II crowd, most of whom are now in their late 80's and early 90's, by Bush’s use of the word "Axis."
Is it any wonder this country is devoid of any progressive ideas?
Potential Republican presidential candidate, John "Flipflopper" McCain, who is panicking over the possibility of having to face Hillary Clinton in 2008, is already smearing the Clinton name. Oh God, nothing scares a Conservative or Republican more than a smart woman. It sort of undermines their whole male supremacist belief.
Hillary Clinton is guilty by association. It figures in the world of twisted Republican logic that the only true victim in the Clinton-Lewinsky affair, Hillary Clinton, would be demonized by using the old, dirty defense lawyer tactic of making the victim the bad guy.
"Well, your honor, she wouldn't have been beaten, raped and murdered if she hadn't been at home sleeping after a hard day's work when my client broke in to her house. It's her own damn fault, your honor. If she had been prowling the streets in search of a crack dealer none of this would have happened. My client would simply have stolen what he wanted and been gone before she came home. She disrupted him while he was performing the duties of his job, she interfered with his income. She was asking for it your Honor; she had it coming."
Blame Chelsea Clinton, blame George Clinton, the musician, or George Clinton, the former President's brother, for anything you feel is wrong, as long as it's a Clinton.
The big deal about Bill Clinton is that he lied under oath. OK that was wrong, but did it have any harmful effect? No.
For years the Conservatives and Republicans have been screaming bloody murder about how Clinton "disgraced the office of the President."
Meanwhile, Bush, and his cronies have disgraced the entire country by sending our troops off to war under false pretenses.
Bush lied about the reasons we should invade Iraq. There are two differences between the Clinton and the Bush lies. #1- Bush wasn't under oath and Clinton was. #2- Clinton's lie caused no one to die. But people died, and continue dying because of Bush’s lie.
Which is worse?
There's also the question of money wasted because of these lies.
The Republicans encouraged Ken Starr to piss away about $330 million persecuting Clinton and producing a Republican approved work of pornography. Now Bush's war in Iraq, which is not a war on terror, but rather the facilitation of the proliferation of terror, in Iraq, is costing about a billion and a half bucks per week.
Is your grocery store out of your favorite brand of Kumquats? Blame Clinton.
Did you know that WWI was Clinton's fault because a fortune teller upset people by saying a man named Clinton would be born, and the people started a war to take their minds off of it?
Run out of peanut butter at 2am? Clinton probably raided your kitchen.
What about Republican Senator, George Allen, whose only accomplishment is that his father was famous for something that doesn't matter, being an NFL coach. He was probably distracted by thinking about Clinton, which caused him to make racist remarks most of his adult life.
Wife won't put out? Blame Clinton because she probably wants him, and not you, and is thinking about him. Husband can't get it up? Blame Clinton because he's probably thinking about the women Clinton had and not you.
Oh jeez, the news just reported an earthquake in Hawaii, there goes Bill Clinton again. When will he stop?
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| YA CAN’T SAY NUTHIN' ANYMORE
Stinky got bent out of shape when she heard that the Christmas Season was to be replaced with a more politically correct sounding name.
She told me that they, whoever the hell "they" are, probably friggin' lawyers, were proposing something such as "Winter Holidays."
Apparently Christmas trees, Santa Claus likenesses, and basically anything else that refers to Christmas will be eliminated.
Stinky is really pissed at this because she loves climbing Christmas trees and scratching and knocking off the balls.
The reason given for this latest example of ridiculous political correctness is that "someone" may be offended.
Now, in addition to the dreaded, unknown "theys" of the world, we have to be concerned with the feelings of the also unidentified "someones."
Jesus Christ! What’s next? Oh, did I offend someone? Well, I don’t know where the hell "they" are, but someone will complain to "them" and tell me that "they" said I should refrain from such language.
So who is it that might be offended by a Christmas tree in a store window? Better yet, who gives a shit?
Everyone is offended by one thing or another and obviously we can't eliminate everything that might, in someone else's mind, bother "someone."
10,000-watt car stereos that I can hear a mile away offend me. Unfortunately these bozos have the right to use their auditory assault weapons so I have to tolerate it.
Cigarette smoke offends many people so now smoking is prohibited in most public places. OK, that makes sense since it's health related and can potentially affect everyone.
But when it comes to a person's religious beliefs being offended, tough shit. The Constitution grants freedom to practice religion, it doesn’t mandate that people who adhere to certain beliefs have the right to prevent others from displaying something that is in opposition to their beliefs.
So what if they/re offended? What are they going to do about it? Complain, that's all, and like most complaints, legitimate and frivolous, it will be ignored.
The latest politically correct nonsense comes from the world of sports.
The football coach at the Air Force Academy was criticized recently for remarking that African-American men run fast and therefore are desirable as football players.
I thought that was a compliment to their physical prowess and ability to use it as athletes. But noooo, the talking heads immediately began playing amateur psychologist. They speculated that the remark could be interpreted to mean that because these guys possessed such a talent people might feel that they don't have to work all that hard to make the team, and that they may not excel at other pursuits.
So if someone has natural ability then I guess he or she should attempt something they have problems with and bust their balls trying to succeed.
If a guy can run a hundred yards in 9 seconds, but is tone deaf, he should try to be a concert pianist, and pass on the multi-million dollar sports contract, just to prove to people that he has a strong work ethic I guess.
Then the talking head said that white guys might be offended if they feel that there’s no hope for them in the world of sports since Black guys are so fleet of foot.
Jeez, I’ll bet there are some thoroughbred racehorses that are insulted and just dying to prove that they can be good bloodhounds if only they were given half a chance.
So, I guess if I say that Southern guys make good bass fisherman, someone will interpret that to mean that a guy from Mississippi might be insulted because I’m implying that he could never catch a trout or a tuna.
Southern guys make the best NASCAR drivers. Oops, now I've pissed off Jeff Gordon because he might think that people feel that he could never moonlight as a bus driver.
What else? Let's see, oh yeah, Californians and Hawaiians are good at surfing. Oh shit, now people will think they can't snow ski, or play marbles.
Most Italians make good cooks. Oh-oh, now I’ll get criticized for implying that they can’t work at a car rental agency.
A lot of Texans wear cowboy hats and boots. Here comes the complaint that I'm suggesting that they don't know how to put on pants and shirts.
Just when I thought I heard it all, as I'm writing this, here comes a news item on TV about the banks in England no longer giving piggy banks to kids because Muslims are offended by pigs.
What buttheads, what’s next, no pork in supermarkets? |
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| RELIGIOUS LOONIES SCORE VICTORY
Stinky is back from her vacation in The Catskill Mountains and on her first day back she dug up some incredible shit!
Little by little the religious loonies are making headway in their effort to try to convince the public that religious mysticism is the answer to all ills.
Naturally, the way they choose to infiltrate society with their balderdash is through the impressionable youth of our country, the same way Hitler spread Nazism in Germany with his Youth Corps.
On Monday, 08/01 President Bush stated that schools should teach theories other than evolution, such as creationism.
Now what the hell is this all about? Is he our President, or an American version of the Pope? Are we headed for a Monarchy, such as in England where the Queen is also the titular head of their "official" church, the Anglican Church, also referred to as the "C of E," or Church of England?
There has already been an incident where a misguided American citizen called on the President to pray for more churches in Oregon. See my September 08, 2004 posting, "SEPARATION OF CHURCH & STATE," on my blog: "The View From The Bottom"
The President’s statement comes hard on the heels of an article in "The New York Times" about two of the country’s most enlightened places, Odessa, Texas, and Greensboro, North Carolina. Um-um, I always wanted the country’s kids to be influenced by the residents of these two bastions of buffoonery.
The school board in Odessa will add an elective bible study course to the 2006 high school curriculum. This is something that the Greensboro, North Carolina based "National Council on Bible Curriculum in Public Schools," has been trying to accomplish for 12 years. Their goal is to have such nonsense made mandatory in all American schools.
Tax dollars will now be wasted on the teaching of one group's view of religion. How long will it be before several hundred other splinter religious groups will insist that their version of Protestantism be given equal time? How long will it be before the court cases start rolling in from other religious groups who want their particular religion taught along side Christianity.
Jeez, before long American students will barely have time for football, cheerleading, school dances, proms, and oh yeah, real school work, so they can grow up to be something more than a street corner preacher.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: "Religion is a private matter. The decision to believe or not, to worship or not, is something that is a private matter."
It is not something our schools should be concerned with. There is no 4th "R," for religion.
For Christ's sake, if I can invoke a higher power here, America’s kids are among the dumbest in the world, and have been for quite a few years now. That means, unfortunately, that there are a lot of dumb-ass young adults out there, probably producing more fodder for America’s schools.
This is all about creationism versus evolution; something that kids shouldn’t be concerned with unless, on an individual basis, they want to pursue the issue, on their own time.
How about parents and educators being concerned about where America's kids are going, rather than where they came from?
How about some freedom FROM religion for a change?
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WILL THE GUY WHO WINS BECOME PRESIDENT THIS TIME?
Are we going to have a replay of the 2000 Presidential election this year?
Will the Supreme Court appoint another President for us, as it did in 2000?
Our outdated Presidential election laws state that the popular vote doesn’t count, only Electoral votes count; and to me, that makes about as much sense as having a screen door on a submarine.
Why is it set up that way? Well for a lot of reasons, reasons that are no longer applicable or necessary. I’m no expert in this area, but basically the Electoral College was devised as a sort of buffer between the people and the government.
Our Founding Fathers expected that there would be several candidates for the office of President and invented the Electoral College, whose members would choose two or three of the candidates. Then, the House of Representatives would select the President. It was also thought that the general public was too dumb to elect the best person to be President.
By using the Electoral system, the “smarter people,” that is, the congress, which acted on behalf of the general citizenry, got to choose the pick of the litter presented to them by the Electoral College.
The arrival of the party system, however, made the Electoral College a mere extension of the parties because the parties select their own Electors, who in turn, are supposed to vote for their parties’ candidate, so the system failed.
It is argued, by proponents of the Electoral system, that the residents of States with small populations will be ignored by the candidates. That was probably true when the country was founded. Back then it was felt that because of the small number of votes available in these sparsely populated areas the candidates would not want to endure a long, hard ride on a buckboard in order to inform these few potential voters, of their policies. By granting votes to the States, Electoral votes, the candidates would be more likely to pay a visit and kiss some ass.
Our Founding Fathers compromised and did what they felt was best for their times, but times change, and we shouldn’t keep this now ridiculous system in place merely because it was always done that way. I’m certain that the Founding Fathers would agree, if they could somehow be resurrected, that this system is no longer necessary and can now disenfranchise the majority.
Everyone has access to one or more of the following: newspapers, television, radio, the Internet, and news magazines, in order to research the candidates. It isn’t necessary for all of the contenders to travel to every little hamlet to hold a town meeting for those who bother to show up.
Candidates have lost the Popular vote and won the election because of having won the Electoral vote and that is not representative of the will of the majority of the people.
It happened in 1876, when Rutherford B. Hayes, the Republican, won the majority of the Electoral vote only, and became President.
The same thing happened, in 1888, to Benjamin Harrison, again, the Republican.
Of course in 2000 Al Gore won the popular vote but Bush, again, the Republican, was appointed President by The Supreme after winning the disputed Electoral vote.
Funny isn’t it that Republican candidates don’t seem to be very popular, and yet they somehow manage to wangle their way into The White House. It’s no wonder the Republicans love this inane system. You never hear them complain about it because it works to their advantage.
This system is wrong and subverts the will of the people and the guarantee of majority rule.
I feel that the Electoral vote system violates the intent of the “one person, one vote” concept that we ascribe to in America and it should be trashed.
We should elect our Presidents using the popular vote as the determining factor, the same system that is used to elect all other persons running for public office. It’s simple and fair, win the majority of the votes, or a plurality, when there is a strong third party candidate, and that person becomes the President.
Under this system every vote truly does count, regardless of where you live. If this system had been in place four years ago the problems in Florida wouldn’t have mattered so much because the number of votes in question would have represented only a miniscule percentage of the total National vote count, not enough to change the result of the election.
According to the Popular vote totals, the vote that should count, it’s clear that the majority of Americans wanted Al Gore to be our next President.
Sure, under this system, election night won’t be as exciting as it is now. We’ll have to forego seeing and hearing the pundits of television station WXYZ, calling the great State of New Keister, with its ½ Electoral votes, for candidate, Smith or Jones, before quickly cutting to a commercial for diarrhea relief medication.
We can live without that once every four years excitement in exchange for a fair election decided by the majority of the people.
We need to scrap the Electoral Vote System, and go with the Popular Vote to elect our Presidents. And, while we’re at it, let’s institute a 2-term limit on the Congress so it returns to a place of honor and not a stage for marionettes whose strings are pulled by Corporate America.
As long as we’re cleaning house let’s eliminate lifetime appointments for Supreme Court judges as well, so we can restore justice based on the law and not politics.
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| NASA LOCATES FLYING SAUCER
That’s right, this time there will be no denials or “lost” documents, NASA has tracked and located a real flying saucer in the Utah desert.
Unfortunately the saucer is their own and not something extraterrestrial, and worse yet, it represents the apparent culmination of another of their ill-conceived useless projects.
The saucer like object, which hurtled to earth at nearly 200 mph after its parachute failed to deploy, was the reentry vehicle from Nasa’s " Genesis Mission."
Three years ago this device was sent close to the sun in order to collect unadulterated matter from it. These atoms were supposed to contain information that would allow scientists to study the solar system and perhaps the origins of life.
The collected matter, about the size of a few grains of salt, was supposed to take about 5 years to analyze. Nice way to assure job security in these tough times.
Now of course supporters of this horseshit will say that eventually some benefits will be reaped from all this, perhaps 20 or so years down the road. What they won’t tell you is that those benefits, whatever they may be, will only help a handful of people involved in the space program, if we’re stupid enough to allow it to continue.
This latest bit of failed NASA nonsense cost $260 million dollars.
At least now I can believe the President and the Congress when the say the country can’t afford things such as universal health care. After all, the Federal Government can’t afford to piss away money on such silliness as medical care when there’s useless space dust to collect.
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Every damn thing on this website is copyright 2003-2009 ©Jim Ippolito All rights reserved
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